This morning I mused
between Roko
and UBI,
fueled
by pain.
Apparently,
giving up chocolate
stops pain
or some such nonsense.
It’s a bit more complicated
but is it?
I think I need to take the afternoon
to charge batteries
for tomorrow.
I need to be
sharp
tomorrow.
We’re talking about change
tomorrow.
I see that it is no small irony
that I am partially the reason
we are talking about it.
The things I push for,
dragging
others
kicking and screaming
into the future.
Well,
not so dramatic as all that,
but metaphorically accurate
enough.
I have held onto
some failure of thought
that Utopia
is possible.
That if others could just be
like me
that we would be
better.
I don’t know if it is possible
to conceive of
a more arrogant thought.
I don’t think I’m wrong
anymore
than anyone else thinks the same.
Difference is the problem.
Irreconcilable inertia
of culture,
of history,
of time.
So instead of a Utopia
where we all have the same
tollerance
for change,
instead I have to be sharp
tomorrow
to discuss it.
I understand my role.
I understand that I am the problem.
I also understand
that the future is better
for having me in the present.
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